fairly tale of mine :)

reading my book with tears in my eyes... :(

today, i got scolded by my sister.. 

my first and second... i cant blame them. its really my faulty.

i have to buy a new spectacle, cause my degree increase already.

then, me and my third sister went for a survey for my spec.

we went to her friend's shop.. i was actually wanna survey only.

because i always cant make a decision without mum say yes.

i tell my third sister that, i think i buy the cheaper one better.

then she say that no need la. the cheap one no good, buy the one expensive, at least you can use it longer. 

one cost rm98, the other one is cost rm180.

its double of the price.. so i tell her.. i got no money alrady.

then she say, you got first and second sister ma.

they will for SURE sponsor you one la.

then i say, i cannot make decision le. can take picture and let mum see?

let her choose??

then she say why you so banyak macam?

then i say, i only want mum to know that im buying a new spec ma.

then she look at me fiercely and say you want or not? 

im not going to help you call mum.

you want you call yourself.

the thing is my phone have no credit. you want me how? =/

gosh.. so i just say okay to buy the expensive one.

so then, i sms my first and second sister.. tell them i buy a spec cost rm180.

and wanted them to help me pay some.

my first sister were so damn angry with me :(

because i buy the spec without their permission.

i should ask them first, before i say yes.

she scolded me for half hour..

talking about studies, my entertainment, my facebook and so on.

my sms EVERYTHING should be cut down!

it's really my own fault..

i should not spend on stuff like contact lens and i shoul have ask them first.

when the moment i need someone for me...

why isn't anyone that totally understand how i feel?

why isn't anyone there for me?

why isn't anyone that care about me so much =/

am i that worthless?

*girl:are you blind?

Guy: No.

girl: so, why can't you see me?* 

this conversation, really wish could tell you =X

the moment when you tell me that you miss her..

i was actually heartache when i saw that..

it really show how much you care about her..

and wasnt me..

i'm always not the one. 

FOR ANYBODY.

why? i really wish i could be the one there for you all the time..

you're really such a nice guy that i would ever meet.

gosh.. i'm not eager to have a bf.. if i does, i would just simply accept any guy that chasing right after me now.

but, if you still think that i am type of person like this.

you doesnt know me at all.

yea, i am a girl which are easy to fall in love with people.

someone like you, even easy. =/

sorry to say that, i'm trying my best to stop msging you..

and try to avoid you as much as i can.

cause i'm afraid..

really afraid that you would hurt me like he did.

its enough if i got once.. cause i know you love her justt so much.

you could even cry for her. this show how much she meant to you.

why wasnt i'm the one who meet you at first?

this is fate.. we weren't meant to be together. 

and YOU! the one who hurt me for years. why are you back and find me again?

if you leaving kuching, then leave la! i really doesnt wanna hear any news about you at all.

i hate guys that giving me hopes and thinking that, i got the chance when i don even have that small little chances. =/

stop find me could you? cant you see that i've been trying my best to not to find you at all?

you thought doing this is easy huh?

let me tell you! ITS NOT! so let me tell you! 

get out of my life PLEASE!